Laira Thomas
Relationship Facilitator
Most people know something isn't working. In the relationship, in the bedroom, or just in the way they talk to each other.
I'm here for the conversations most people are too polite to have. Yes — including that one.
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Education and communication around sex is so important to me. If you haven’t had a chance to listen to this episode of my podcast with director Lisa Rideout about her documentary - here’s a reminder and a clip. Do you remember listening on the radio or watching Sue? #goat #sexeducati̇on #reconnect
A lot of new faces around here this week, so if that’s you, hi.
I’m Laira, a relationship facilitator. Facilitator means to make something easier, and that’s the job. I sit in the room with you and help facilitate the conversations you’re not having, or didn’t know you needed to have. Sometimes that’s advice. Sometimes it’s homework.
The ones I mean are the hard-to-start ones. Feeling more like roommates than partners. Standing at the edge of giving up.
If you’re new, say hi in the comments. I’d love to know what brought you here. #relationships #advice #secondchance
My last video about what men are still hoping for hit over for 140,000 of you, and the comments broke my heart a little.
This one’s for her side of it
For you: does the emotional closeness get you to wanting physical intimacy or does the physical closeness usually get you there first?
This is the kind of thing that gets easier to talk about with someone else in the room.
He’s not going to text you this list. He’s going to keep asking about your day and opening the fridge and hope you notice anyway.
None of this is really about sex, even when it sounds like it. It’s about being wanted. Reached for, not just next to. Still worth being curious about.
Curious how many of these surprised you, if any did.
You’d be surprised to know how many men desire this kind of simple attention.Add a heart to the comments when you have sent it. Let’s bring some smiles to people‘s faces.
I used to think if I was off, it was his job to bring me back.
That’s a lot of pressure to put on one person. And it doesn’t actually work. You can’t regulate someone else’s nervous system for them, no matter how much you love them.
So now the walk comes first. I get myself steady. Then I come back to him as a person, not a problem he has to solve.
That shift changed more in our marriage than almost anything else we’ve worked on.
That’s where we start.
The hardest message a client ever sends me is the first one.
Not because of what it says. Because of how long it usually took someone to work up the courage to send it.
Starting is the part nobody talks about enough.
Either way, I’m ready when you are.
#relationshipmoments #startingover
One of you texts back in two minutes. The other one reads it and answers three hours later. Somehow, that gap keeps turning into the whole fight. Which one are you? The one who reads the reply now, or the one who needs the space first? Comment below. I read every one. You know where to find me.
